Started working out yesterday and thought would keep some distance form spicey,oily basically tasty food. But it refuses to let go fo me pyar tumhe kahin bhi dhoond leta hai.

creak in the neck

There is a creak in my neck that refuses to go, sometimes I wonder if it is true that the emotional wanderings of the soul get mainfested in the physical. Dont know if I need to be happy about the fact that my soul believes in attaching itself to emotions or whether I need to give it a spanking for wasting its time dabbling in trouble.

kuch kehna

kuch keh kar bhi jab nahin smajhte hai log,
shabdon ko bahana asan nahin lagta,
khamoshi ho agar zindagi bhar ka sath,
toh phir baton se azmana jurm hai lagta,

PARDA

Agar zindgai ko ek jhooth keh do toh kya galat hoga,
haqeekat ko khayal keh do toh kya yeh sahi hoga,
rishte jab humse jhoot ka purda karte hai,
toh phir sach ka tamsha banake hum kyon jee rahe hai.

My book

Just finished reading atlas shrugged by ayn rand,have always wondered if I was a selfish
self destructive idiot....realised that I was a fair, self loving, objectivist. Left without a book by my side and getting extremely restless about it. Never felt like this since school...with no athletic abilities and scared to death about approaching or being approached by anybody the book spared me the above mentioned trauma. The world could fall apart around me but the noise nor the screams could reach me once a book lay open in front of me inviting me into his world. Nearly half a century later and with a voice louder than the cooker whistle and a tendency to strike conversation with strangers I am unconsioulsy gropping for the firmness of the book cover. My weapon against this world of aliens.

The game

Her deepest and darkest fears came true..... somehow everytime I have read that line as a prefix to a plot in a story I have often wondered whether the writer was a obese shaikh lounging on a satin sofa in a mahal somewhere. Maybe I have read the wrong novels..... or maybe I have read the right ones. Reality is not about fairy godmothers and prince charming....... its about fighting life and its discrepancies, its about believing and having your belief broken, its about struggling blindly to get up from a heap of misery and stand straight, its about seeing your soul mourn the loss of innocence and smile as you shake the hand of success. This is the real life where you have the expertise to enjoy the ectacsy of love and the strength to face yourself when it strips your soul and leaves you naked and shivering. This game of chance called life is laid by the master but can be played with the strength and conviction possible only for man. Your reality is your happiness and even if he rolls the dice the stakes are in your hand. You decide for how much happiness are you going to stake. some stake little, some stake the average and some stake it all.........

Jao

aj socha ki shayad phir se nahin dhadke ga,
tootte tootte kahan kuch baccha hoga
kuch pal pehle ek nazar dal ke dekha,
saans abhi bhi mehek rahi hai,
kuch der ka mehman hai,
uski halat dekh kar main hassi,
pagla tha,
ki takdeer se lad gaya,
mujhe dekh kar muskura raha hai,
mujhse pooch raha hai,
main kya kahoon use,
dil toh kehta hai ki
kahoon ki jeet gaye tum,
phir uski taraf ek nazar aur dalu
toh haqeekat se wakif hoti hoon,
jo dum tod raha,
uski bhala kya sunoon,
uske janeka aj bilkul gum nahin,
khushi hai ki ajke badh koi ehsas nahin.

Stay

somewhere in tomorrow,
somewhere in today,
in a moment of now,
you exist and always will

One of those

Its one of those when you want to take the covers over your head and pretend that the world does not exist. Well its not that bad but for a control freak like me its extremely intolerable when
things are rotating in unknown space and there is no chance that I can bring them in a streamlined form. The only thing left to do is sit and wait and that is one of the most irritating
action for me to do. Await for a form to form itself. Have realised that we earthly creatures are
never satisfied with the existant our constant endeavour of wants does not end. Nor will it ever.

salvation.

I am back and so sooon !!!! well I just had to share my wonderful weekend I had the most

romantic weekend in a very long time. With whom ? love. Maybe I have finally reached

the edge and its a few seconds before I jump. One thing is for sure its going to be one of the

most exhilrating moments of my life. Must say I was mighty worried not being able to experience the magic of love was as good as having to give up alcohol for life. You need to free

love from its cage of form and give it a life of its own. Then you will see it paint itself in a million colours and you will be gasping for breath as it takes a huge leap and touches the sky of the uncomprehensible. In a moment you experience the highs and lows of a ride that you never want to end. It touches the very peak of your spiritual being and then dips to the human entity leaving you with a rumble at the pit of your stomach. Can you capture the zen of this universe in a flutter of a heart beat the answer is you can when your heart beats on the rythum of the warm beats of love.

Single and Silent.

There I go again suffering from a writers block. It feels terrible when words refuse to

create themselves onto plain paper. I don want to look at it but maybe the truth is that I can

express only grief and confusion. As I stand at that corner in life without the darkness or the

cobwebs of depression and frustration clouding my soul. There is a full stop to the maze of words

that I weave. There is peace in my heart and stillness in my soul after a long drawn battle

of emotions and expectations the era of content and begins and I have no words to express.

Love is melancholy, without the bitter ache in the heart it can never be complete maybe the

saying that the greatest stories told are tragedies has a true ring it.

Sometimes

sometimes I laugh,
sometimes I grieve,
sometimes I look at the clock ticking
and just wanna sleep,
sometimes I lie,
sometimes I win,
sometimes I lose and am extremely happy about it,
sometimes I bow,
someimes I grin,
sometimes I refuse to acknowledge propriety,
Sometimes I love,
Sometimes I hate,
Sometimes I waste,
Sometimes gets stuck in sometimes and waits.