me and you

If you find me here more often, then 9 out of 10 I am pretty upset though this once its purely because I have so much to share.... as they say happiness is a thought away. I must say that Its much easier to enter the sanctuary than ever before . I guess the realisation that everything begins and ends with him is a realistaion that makes all roads so simple.love without a shelve life without any conditions..... Also maybe it has to do with the fact that I no longer have any expectations. Cant describe the feeling its like life is staring at a a white wall. Its when you see perfect take birth and then melt into nothingness that you realise the futility.
I can say today that I have seen all shades of love. Friendship, companionship, fiction and reality and at the end of it all it has all boiled down to me. There was a era of togetherness where there was space for you but in todays space starved existence there is space only for me try making space for you and there is a pretty high possibility that you wont exist.

A known Devil....

Am still wondering, have been for sometime. They say a known devil is much better than a unknown angel sometimes the angel u seem to know turns into a unknown devil. The whole
world then comes to a stand still. Manipulation is intrinsically human but for a hopelessly straightforward entity as me the extend to which people clamouflage themselves just comes as
a bolt of lightning from nowhere. There I stand staring at the sky and my charred soul and wondering what hit me. There is nothing but ugly blackness ruptured by the heat of lies and the wall around your heart is cracked. Within a fraction of a second the cold waves of mistrust drown the faith which used to beat with warmth. As I see faith breath its last I desperately see it flapping its arms for some hope of survival a small twig which may let it live, breath, float. But as the seconds tick bye there is nothing but darkness.Trust when it breaks shatters into a million pieces never to be pieced again and each piece ruptures the heart. Faith is riped apart and torn to smithereens and what remains is a black hole of nothingness....... A mask, a fake idenity, a cloak of lies, a false touch, a deceptive smile , a deceiving look, my unknown angel.

MY RAINBOW

Across the rainbow,
my favourite place,
reached the colours,
then realised the paint,
A shade of white,
thats all there was,
a splash of nothingness and no other hue,
As I looked hard for a dash of some pink or blue,
He looked at me and smiled as if he always knew,
Those grains of sparkling magic were mine to hold,
Had found the rainbow of magical lore,
before the joy could reach my eyes,
A flash of white ,
the rest was lies,
the truth is often before us and we cannot see,
the white colour,
the only reality,
pink, orange, red and blue
are colours which we paint from our imaginary hues,
He is still smiling asking me whether this is a dream,
Or shall I have the strength to accept reality without the
textured screen,
I look at him and smile,
He is clothed in nothing but white,
I open my fist and it turns into a palm,
I ask him to never let me fall.