Memories

Sometimes I wish you held my hand when you should have,
Sometimes I wish you would have turned back and looked at me one more time,
Soemtimes I wish you smothered me in your arms and said that life stops here,
Life is walking again and I am walking with life towards a destination I dont know,
Every step I take I realise that you are not going to be there with my next,
Dreams and ambitions are somewhere in bits in the air,
So tired was life with me trying that it left me with nothing but memories,
Of those few moments when I thought my tommorrow will have you in it as my today,
Then i realised that if I was your world I would have been in it today,
There is a price for everything and I was not worth the price of your affection,
Sometimes this truth is difficult to accept,
then there is the realisation that you are not here with me,
The moments of betrayal,
when I was standing by your side yet was invisible to you,
when i tried to hold your hand and you shrugged it away,
when I wanted to cry on your shoulder and you made my tears guilty of that need,
when I wanted nothing but the warmth of your arms to melt my pain nd my suffering,
but then I was expecting too much of your time and understanding,
life was always difficult for you most of the time because of me,
You will always be a part of my heart somewhere tucked away with memories of those cold nights when i was next to you wrapped in your arms,
A smile on my face and the feeling that you will be by my side always,
As I walk on a path which takes me to a place which I have not seen or know,
I take with me what made me smile leaving that made me cry way behind.