Reflections

I wrote this on 23/12/2005,I guess the early realisations of a dream being shattered.


One of the most amazing things about love is that when you think that you havesucceeded in giving it the slip,it suddenly peeps at you from behind the curatin and scares the hell out of you....its a long journey from the self destruction to the somewhat slivers of peace that you manage to redeem for yourself and boom.....it takes a few minutes of that fatal smile or light touch for your whole world to come crashing down agian into the void of darkness that has been so much a part of your life and you ask the eternal question why me ?the answer to that has never been found by anyone....perhaps it is supposed to evade you forever like the reflection of the moon in the calm and dark river....perfect yet a million light years apart....and then once again starts the wait that travels through every moment that you breath,every thought that you think,through your very existance.....

THE ANIMALS BEHIND BARS

I dont know what to write frankly,this blank white space is as bad as the white paper that used to grin at me in college.It was war between me and the emptiness, I guess it still is.Its just that
emptiness gets dispalced and not replaced sad but true.
Its funny how Life comes full circle" kuch alag ho to batao".I wish i could say " and it gets better" but it doesent it just gets worse.......why! i wish once again there was a answer to it. I have already mentioned wish twice and i have to refrain because according to englsih grammer you cannot use one word often in a paragraph.
RULES basically that is the problem! conditioning and acceptable social norms .Somebody else tells you what is the right thing to do and you burn your wishes your happiness at the alter of acceptance. I envision life which is free of any do's and donts and no i dont think you can give me the argument of what will society come to! its not like its different anyways a zoo where the wild animals run wild and the domestic ones are locked behind bars.

Of Love and everything that comes with it !

SIGH!
thast the first thing that comes to my mind when i think about the love of my life(i am supposed to use a past tense to that but i guess the phasing out process will take some time) 11 days exactly from today 1/5/2006.
One shouldnt take for granted chemistry thats one thing i have learnt for sure.......two days ago this post would have been a little more intresting overflowing with sweet verbs and adjectives but for now the plain fact should do..............the ability to completely let yourself drown in the now.I wish i could do this more often live in the now than tommorrow. i dont believe in escaping reality with this relationship i always have, and wont think twice before i do it once again.
the blinking of those far away lights adorning the queens necklace and the pitter patter of mindless converstion with soft sand tickiling my feet will always find its way from my subconscious to my conscious each time i whiz past the past still existing in the present. with it will also exist the granules of time which have flown by a longtime ago.............