The answer

https://www.qpeka.com/discover/poem/5351500b0cf219bb98c5c653

For me faith has evolved considerably, from being a atheist to witnessing the magic of faith it ahs beena  long journey. Yet today I grapple with the question of my spirituality, I dont like the concept of religion. I continue to find answers, to  a reality that's much more than names and rituals, but true wisdom.

My First credit as a Writer :P

My first credit as a writer, the feeling is something which shall walk with me forever. One always wants appreciation from another, along with the love of my readers who take the effort to read my rants here these people have offered to publish my thoughts too !

https://www.facebook.com/lituminati

Night Turns to day

The struggle to be happy is such heavy work, rather its our whole journey in this life as we know it.

https://www.qpeka.com/library/poem/5339bb620cf2cde74dfc23e6

Relationship really ?

Relationships can be very funny or rather very time consuming, the one thing I have learned over the years is that your personal life is a shit load of work. The one part of your life which you take for granted is perhaps the most time consuming and painful.

The work dynamic more or less never changes you get good at something and then you are at it, even if you begin to work on a skill set that's new it has a learning curve which you run in a fixed time and then its smooth sailing, its a given that the boss or the client is a jackass and you make your peace with it.

cut to your personal life, its a bloody minefield the terrain of the bloody rain forest must not be so diverse in its flora and fauna. Here you just finish mastering the art of somewhat figuring out what is north and what is south and then you get up one day to realize that the south does not exist at all. Now how do u start navigating when you dont know where to start or where to go.

Boss age can really fuck you up and nobody tells you that it grows on you so fast it may be ten years but they pass u by in a bloody second and suddenly you are not what you thought you were what the hell are you expecting from the poor person in front of you.

Then we start climbing the mountain again. Ground zero again ! In a world which is running you are running with it. The world out there is engraved in your DNA you are on auto-drive,  what is not part of your DNA is the whole act of sharing, understanding, caring, walking with another you need to focus on that because that is what you need to learn and program that needs more effort, work, input and attention.

Today a job is found and sustained a relationship or a marriage nope ! love is a very difficult skill to learn and even more difficult to apply in this fast, fucked up life  

Vote for ?

It has always irritated me that more than often the media creates a circus out of elections. There si no clear communication forget simple. Every journalist exhibits his indepth knowledge with complex tables and even more complex dissertations. Boss why dont u talk simple and sense something that me will understand.
Here is simple and me combined with a table of numbers which is very easy to undesrtand.

https://www.qpeka.com/article/531ab6980cf2f4f345229342

Love arrives

https://www.qpeka.com/library/poem/53090caa0cf2b274fc3d8d00

This August my love will complete 15 years. I still remember the  first day I saw him. The few years post that were a whirlwind of emotions. The good bad and the ugly. Today wile watching a movie about young love ( Marathi movie timepass ) we lived that life again when being stupid was so lovely and a a twenty rupees dosa brought much more happiness than the three thousand buffet that we may eat today,
love arrives and the moment of that arrival live s with u for life.

Love me now

Well personally I think I am terrible at the whole concept of love. I may think that I have some grasp of it but more often than not I come up feeling like a complete failure. Love at least of the romantic kind. Its easy to love as a daughter, sister or a friend but the mushy kind is bloody very difficult. Therefore I usually don't, but this valentines day I attempted once again to pen something that is supposed to be defined as a romantic poem.
https://qpeka.com/library/poem/52fe22b00cf2876d0c0b8798

Right versus Wrong

Turmoil is never a good thing, though something always emerges from its belly. The good or the bad is often depended on you. Its an effort to churn in a direction which takes you to the definitions of the worldly good.
Its an effort and at the end of it you are tired and waste.
what you have before you is the sum total and even though it sits right with your conscience it brings you no happiness. They say that dilemma makes the man, because what you choose you become. Whether you want to be that person in the first place is a big question. Good is a burden and it drags you with it as you peel yourself in the process. There is peace at offer but who is to say that the slugs of wealth and deceit don't have peace as they sleep in the palaces of excess.
your peace is your definition and nobody is to say that you are wrong or right. We slaughter and torture animals for our food. When humans slaughter each other its barbaric and undigested, then again no species attacks its own for no reason except survival. we maybe the only species who does it for progress. This is not the rule of the jungle, its rules are fair and we don't play fair.
Every time we have been set lose we have created nothing but destruction painful upheaval one cat has tried to destroy the whole herd. We are worst than animals they believe in survival, we don't believe in any such thing, because our I is insane.
Maybe that is the fact we are a faulty product, god went wrong and is now stuck keeping an eye on this creation which comes back to life like cockroaches every time he tries to make it extinct.
Our religion is again our ultimate ego, us telling ourselves that god made us in his image and we are born to rule.

Aj

I dont know what to write today, there is so much I want to say and share but somehow its just a jumble.

for today these few words are all I have. Hope words find me soon.

http://www.qpeka.com/poem/52f9f4660cf2c77901b4da52#

POEM CODE

This poem is a lyrical bend to my thoughts on our existence as a predicted species which I voiced in CODE

http://www.qpeka.com/library/poem/52f4ce670cf2f0414f206146

Me a writer ?

These past three years have made me question my very existence, which is as any other person defined by the profession one belongs to. I have searched and searched and somehow the answer has evaded me, there seems to be no need for what I bring to a professional table. I have done then what I know best write. With this poem I hope to begin a journey. Do not know whether it has a destination.
But it would mean a lot if you could share this journey with me as you have till now. Do read what I have to share with you.

http://qpeka.com/library/poem/52ef78f20cf2f0414f206033

We are code

I like the unpredictability of life. You expect some great miracle but then you settle for the puzzle being solved in the end. Your whole life seems to get over in this waiting and finding. I refuse to just wait. Every moment is living for me, there is this inane satisfaction also in doing nothing.
then comes the fear whether this is self destructing. You are not made to do nothing, it leads to decay. Am I doing enough, who defines that for me. Will I do anything again for any one again. There  ! and I thought that I am supposed to celebrate nothingness. Well I surely can try. Resigning myself to hundred questions has not got me any where have tried that, everybody does. Being a good human being is a tough job. The question is are you one in the first place and who defines that for you.
I hate definitions of  any kind, they are too constrictive. I like my freedom, often wonder are we free in the first place there are six personality types in the world we are made in repetition, I cant break the code. I have to follow it, what i feel and what I do is pre determined by that code. Am sure he finds our struggle pretty amusing. 

Are you happy

I have to check myself every time I begin writing on a blank page. It always begins with " Its amazing ". That is what life means to me. In a world that increasingly becomes insecure with every growing want, my world still revolves around the pani puri at the corner of the street. Isnt life that simple. Apparently its not, its very complex, this I dont understand I have tried to, life gets better with money thats what I have been  told with every medium out there that can communicate to you.  

Happiness, I was happy before and I did not have money, I had people. The book says that every era goes through a life cycle of birth, growth and death. We are in the era where this world is dying the kalyug. 

Why are we like this, why is there so much selfishness, why cant we see anything beyond what we want what we need what we have and what we have not.

We dont need love anymore, we need that expensive car, we need to be sexually satisfied, we need

power over another we need those expensive clothes, we need that vacation in Ireland. I dont understand this it is complex for me. I don't see you happy. You need all this to be happy right. What are you ? 

why r you a rapist, why are you a swindler, why are you a abuser ? why are you a selfish human being.

 Are you happy ?

This Christmas.........

Its white its red and its Green ! Its that time of the year when happiness decides to be toll free. Its amazing how a carol here, a decoration there and my heart begins to glow. Even in the darkest hour he is there. Christmas is not about celebrating his birth but remembering that he is the silver lining to our dark cloud. No matter how bad or how terrible life may seem this time of the year life just becomes more beautiful every person gives a moment to goodness to share smiles.Its not about the presents or sweets or the parties which people throw it is the  sweetness the joy and the cheer that decorates another heart !
This Christmas spend, buy, decorate eat, drink make merry but also try and remember to try and reflect the philosophy of the trinity , give today .. A smile, A look, A chance, A forgiveness,  A time, A care, A hand, This Christmas spend few moments living a life for a father and make him proud.

Signs

I believe in signs,
the way to a place,
the arrow to road,
the smile that welcomes.
the frown that doesn't,
a hand that stops,
a finger that nods,
I believe in signs,
nothing points to nothing
I believe in signs

Hey guys :)

Oh and by the way if you do read post a note :) I write because I love to but it will be nice to know that there are people out here who make it worth my while :)

Right now

I dont know what makes us humans so thankless , that is the reason why we are so miserable half the time also maybe it is this very nature that makes us better than who we are. Its really blessed to be blessed when you experience the divine as a part of your life. Everything works out in the end and that strength is enough to get you through any storm. Yet as I wonder what tomorrow will bring, the happy life I have now filled with love , laughter and smiles seems to paint a very bleak picture....Is this not enough. Three years is a long time to believe that there is something out there for you when it comes to you. When work was always a means to and end ,a family to care for when it does not seem to exist now why is there a void. I so want to be happy with what I have and yet there is that stinging emptiness. I want to be satisfied with what I have yet I am not.
This is scary why would I want to be this person.
I have questioned the divine and I have hated myself for that too, when people are dying of hunger I am cribbing about me disappearing, inst that selfish why am I like this, have you made me like that. wonder how the god men feel, how do they attain nothingness.
What if I am plain lazy, maybe that is a possibility but when all your life is about co incidences and circumstances which have been made for you rather than you making them and all your efforts towards dragging your life in the direction you want have gone nowhere. There is that dump in ur heart of knowing that its predecided and somewhere you hate him for that too.
Its like the lover who brings light in your life but you hate him for making you so dependent on him for your happiness.
 Your life behaves like the stubborn bull who wont budge then what do you do. Sit there and wait for it to change its mind ? for something you don't understand to speak to it and make it move its ass. Somebody would think this is escapist thinking but then when u have spend quite some time time sweating trying to move its rump. You would just not care a fuck what the passerby thinks.

Abhi

Aj agar main chahu toh kal ko pehchan lu,
har hone wali ahat ka pata jaan lu,
chaourahe par khadi hoon main jahan door tak aadmi nahin,
ek khamoshi hai aur koi awaz nahin,
is waqt main jhunjhulahat hai zaroor,
hoke bhi nahin hone ka dard hai hazoor,
lekin aj main  mahshroof hoon,
is jagah pyaar ki chaav hai nayi,
kal ki talash main aj yeh kyoon chodu,
kal toh ayega kaha jayega,pyaar aya hai toh koi jadu se yeh waqt kam nahin

Peekaboo

The stars have written a road for me,
A valley of maybe's wait for me,
The dream is lived in surreal reality,
A moment here a wasted eternity,
Today brings a hope for tomorrow,
magic cocooned in absurd huamity,
A window into a hole of certainity,
A gasp of slipping sand and nothing more for me,
Then again who is to know whether tommorrow could bring something new,
or just wrap the old in a new cloak,
And play hide and seek with you.

Khabon ki kayinath

Dastak du  toh sahi, toh koi darwaza khule,
Khabon ke pankh ko hawa ki roshani mile,
Andhere ki duhai date hai kyoon,
hum tum,
jab khab ki roshani apni muthi main pakad ke chale,
hazaron khab main agar hai apni kismat main likhe,
har raat ki behram jakkad ko cheer ke jab hai nikle,
phir unmain se koi ek kyoon na janam le,
haqeekat ki godh main kyoon nahi khele,
agar ankhein bandh karke itne rangon se khelte hai hum,
kya ankhein khol kar umain se ek rang ko bhi na ujjala milein,
kitne rangon ko meeta paoge tum,
mere khabon main kayinath ke hai rang cheepe,
aj koi ek ko mitake tu khush ho le