DUA

words where would flow effortlessly, today take a huge effort to express themselves. Its not for the first time that I am at a crossroad where breathing also hurts.Numbed beyond any kind of justifictaion heart has just stopped to beat. Its very very dark and the night is getting more lonely. The sky is inky blue with not a single drop of a star giving comapny to the lonely space
above us. Blackness has a way of suffocating you, ebbing out your sanity and preservance. I hate the dark anything black brings the omnipresent onto a higher ground.
Its been a long long wait perhpas the longest of my life. It still continues snaking across my existant quitely hissing venom into my perfectly fine life. I guess there has to be a pastence used there. Life was fine today its not. Its a mess, and I have no idea where to start from. I guess some messes have to clear themselves. That sounds impractical but life can be more weirder than fiction. My life cannot claim for itself anything as tall as that. Its as common as you get. The heartaches the
disappointments the hope that one fine day there will be a fairygod mother who will change my whole life into a fairytale with one touch of her wand. Transformation will take place in every nook and corner. In my heart and in my mind, In my house and at my work In the heart of those whom I love and Those I hate.

Aj phir se kahin se dard jhak raha hai,
khamoshi se apni dua mang raha hai,
Ke shayad use is zindagi se udjane ka bahana mil jaye,
ek pal mein is kaidh se koi taras kha kar lene dawaze par dastak dene
ajaye,
hath uthe hai asman ke tarf,
jisme kahin khudai samai hai,
tumhe dekh nahin pate hum lekin mehsoos toh zaroor kar sakte hain,
kabool ho dua ye farmaish hai,
jeene ke liye thodi si zindagi dan mein
mangi hai.

The Race is On

A thought of yesterday was respresented in a cartoon of today. 4 lines for a woman raped and murdered in a slum and half a page for a upper class college kid murdered. Jessica finally got
justice it was victory of truth, but as the news room errupted in a frenzy of breaking news I calmly looked at her sister poping the champagne bottle nad wondered if a poor lady in tattered
clothes would have been given that much of screen time.
The crusade of the media finally concluded today as life term was sentenced.
Candle light vigils, protests by enthusiastic kids and hypervenatlating journalists.Hours of reel time are dedicated to talk shows discussing the injustice done by power weilding politicians and corrupt policemen,few seconds of which could have been spared for those hundreds of abductions and rapes that happen in villages and in the underbelly of thriving cities. But then visually it will not be appealing and thus not good television.
Twelve women were sentenced to life because they lynched a serial rapist. The fact that the law
could not save those hundreds of women who lost the will to live because of this man is not important enough.These women payed the price for justice. This is not a story important enough to find space in a news channel.A crusade not intresting enough to be taken up.
The pen is mightier than the sword they say. But today the pen is nothing but a tool for entertainment a element that is reduced to a game of X AND 0 the race is for increased frequency and TAM ratings. Justice and the truth have been left far behind . Manipulated and covered with a pancake meant just for attraction.
Journalism id dead what survives is infotainment.

Mind In Flight

MIND IN FLIGHT
by William B. "Willie Woo" Worcester

CLOUDS OF DOOM AND DARK OF NIGHT,
FRIGHTENED MIND IN HOPELESS FLIGHT;
A LOVELESS KISS A LIE SO FAIR,
AND FRANTIC WINGS STILL BEAT THE AIR.
A TWISTING WIND,
A STORM THAT BLINDS,
THE LIGHTENING FLASH WITH SHARPENING TINES.
A DYING WORD, A SOUNDLESS CRY, D
OES SOMEONE KNOW WHY DREAMS MUST DIE?
ONE WOMAN KNOWS WHY MINDS ARE BLACK
I CRIED FOR LOVE,
SHE TURNED HER BACK.

chalte chalte

aj humne saas li,
aj humne zindagi ko wapis khush hone ki wajah di,
Ladhte ladhte itne kho gaye hum ki jeene ki chahat hi kahin jhoot gayi,
Shayad ane wala kal beete hue kal se batar ho,
shayad gham ke andhere aur bhi bhayanak ho,
lekin us andhere mein shayad ki ek kiran hogi,
apne ap ko dhoonte hue jeet hi jayegi,
kal ki har yaad hum seemat ke rakh de rahe hai,
Sirf woh jo muskurahat mein tabdeel hote hain,
Ek khamoshi hain zehen mein,
Ek aram hai akhon mein,
na gham ke saye hai,
na khushi ke asoon,
reh gyai hai sachai ki jhalak,
aj abhi ki haqeekat,
Na kal ki chinta,
Na aj par narazgi,
Chalte chalte apne ap se thodi si khushi batne ki chahat.

The New year

The new year is coming close and I hope that my effort to bring my life in some kind of
alignment works. Its been a terrible year for me, in one word if I can describe it is pain. Every hope has been shattered and faith has been drowned in the ocean of disappointment. Every
individual I have believed in has taken a 360 degress turn around and left without a trace of
regret or shame. I have seen my dreams being salmmed across the wall of time. I have smiled
as every belief has proved itself to be shallow as the dieing stream. I have refused to compromise, I have refused to let life snatch away my right to dream. A new year , A new chance to bring together a shattered life a broken heart and a sagging strength. Everything has
a reason.
My journey through medical upheavels and heartaches has but taught me one thing that you are master of your destiny. Atleast a part of it. I for once believe in myself. I for once
believe that I am capable of living through a lot and yet have my head on my shoulders. For the
first time in 25 years of my life I am talking about myself . I guess thats proof enough.
Hope should be invested in yourself and but yourself. A humanbeing is too frail a individual to be fight for another person, to inconvenience himself for another or to compromise his ideals for another. The most strongest man fails and at that point of time its you who stands up to the occasion, its you who are your strongest support,its you who inspires you to carry the cross and yet continue living.
Its another year to my life and as I climb this mountain there have been people who came and walked with me and walked way,there have been dreams that have come true and some have faded away but I am still walking on a path etched by god and paved by him
Picture Courtesy : Danr Co http://www.flickr.com/photos/danrco/241183250/

A Song Of Love

When you love someone - youll do anything
Youll do all the crazy things that you cant explain
Youll shoot the moon - put out the sun
When you love someoneYoull deny the truth - believe a lie
Therell be times that youll believe you can really fly
But your lonely nights - have just begunWhen you love someone
When you love someone -
youll feel it deep inside
And nothin else can ever change your mind
When you want someone - when you need someoneWhen you love someone...
When you love someone - youll sacrifice
Youd give it everything you got and you wont think twice
Youd risk it all - no matter what may come
When you love someone
Youll shoot the moon - put out the sun
When you love someone-
Bryan Adams

Love is all this and more, for somebody who lives life without a risk assessment love exists in
every moment of life . In the breeze that caresses you in the early evening , When the sun sets
just for you painting you with its numerous shades of red, love lives in the waves that touch your
feet lovingly playing with your toes with a subtlity of a child.love lives in those consonants that make your name, the sound that lingers in the air echoing through lifetimes.
I had forgotten what love was I had forgotten what life was with love. Love is not dependent on a humanbeing love is a entity itself. In this world of compromise I left it to die in a secluded
corner punishing it for breathing in my life. But then how can I live when I have strangulated breath itself. It has to live.It has thrive, It has to dance it has to smile. Love exists in my life in my dreams, in my faith in my hope.
May be there is no space for red roses in my life but there is space for pink, there may not be a hand to pick me up from the cold sand bank but there is a vision,there may not be the wait for a voice to echo through the cellphone but there is the thought, Nobody is waiting back home to pick me up in his arms but there is a home, There may not be anybody to hold my hand walk on the dark sea but there are the images. For a dreamer the dream is what makes his life worth living.
For a woman who has been in love its not the man that counts its the emotion and the realiztaion that love does not happen once in your life it lives with you for ever waiting for the right mould and the right expression a dream that gets realized into reality by the mighty hand of god. In this circle of life we need to wait for that magic when the whole universe conspires for this perfection.

Cold

Cold gripping you, entering your every bone and muscle,
you cant do anything much but to surrender yourself to its rising wave,
I dont have the strength to fight it, I dont have the energy to question its advance,
Its once agian that I live alone in a room full of people,
once again I seem to have fallen short of everybody's expectations,
The effort is never a part of the trial,
The fire is not warm enough to envelope the cold,
Dragging myself through every responsibility living for a dream that belongs to
somebody else,
I have reached my breaking point.Slowly I disintegrate as the cold breaks every bone in
my body,
slowly I tell life that I have let it down,
I face life as it is a coarse reality,
Its painful but its truth in the truest form,
There was and there will be no true love,
The fact is enough to kill every desire to live , every desire to begin a new day.
The night of yesterday has passed,
I was alone,
The cold refused to go away,
Once again life decided to mock at me,
laugh at my existance,
The loneliness and the hoplesness of my life,
For a few moments images flashed across of a situation a little different a little warmth
of concern,
Then life is not about dreams its about reality.
The sooner I realise the better.

Photo Courtesy : Johny Day
http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnydaystudio/322365456/

Ray Of Hope

The desire to achieve exists in each and every living soul. The goal could vary across classes and genre.From poor to the rich, from the intelligent to the challenged,from a mother to a newly wed. Dreams are different but the passion of desire is the same. It is this driving force that makes us human a soft target to sin. Want is a need that makes life a struggle. It pushes man
to swing between the right and wrong. I have realised that this is the only existing thread through which life is weaved. Everytime I pick up the pen words seem to state this very fact.
Sometimes life starves you of the very thing that you think is the most basic.At that point of life
what do you do.Most of the time you disintegrate.The rock near the sea slowly breaks away beaten consistently by the gushing waves. Then we are fragile humanbeings made from soil and gifted the breath of life. Yet somewhere there is the desire to fight, there is hope that tommorrow will bring with it a new beginning a new sunrise. As paul Coelho aptly coins the term
warriors of light. Infact I will say we are warriors for that light. Our life is a ongoing struggle to walk towards it fighting aagainst the darkness that constantly tries to edge its way into our existance. But then comes a time when there is no energy left in you when hope itself deserts you and you are left with no option but to accept your fate.
They say that its a matter of those few seconds between winning and losing. I hate losing and life
has been a fight to win. But through every second of that struggle god has stood by me today he seems to have deserted me , I am sure that this is a lie that I am telling myself . He is there with you when you are the weakest he is your strength. Today when again I stand at the brink of disaster and no longer believe in myself I hope that he is satnding by me holding my ahnd and not letting me fall. Because this time I dont know if I will be able to get up once I fall. Life has taken away a lot from me and everytime I have been thankful for what I have. Its cloudy again and storm is brewing and my legs are very weak. I stand alone waiting to live the storm. Tommorrow is uncertain, today a lonely disaster. They say that when it gets very dark morning is just around the corner. This night refuses to passaway and with the prolonged darkness my ray of hope has jsut died a rather lonely death.
Photo Courtesy : Pandiyan http://www.flickr.com/photos/pandiyan/42012853/