Right versus Wrong

Turmoil is never a good thing, though something always emerges from its belly. The good or the bad is often depended on you. Its an effort to churn in a direction which takes you to the definitions of the worldly good.
Its an effort and at the end of it you are tired and waste.
what you have before you is the sum total and even though it sits right with your conscience it brings you no happiness. They say that dilemma makes the man, because what you choose you become. Whether you want to be that person in the first place is a big question. Good is a burden and it drags you with it as you peel yourself in the process. There is peace at offer but who is to say that the slugs of wealth and deceit don't have peace as they sleep in the palaces of excess.
your peace is your definition and nobody is to say that you are wrong or right. We slaughter and torture animals for our food. When humans slaughter each other its barbaric and undigested, then again no species attacks its own for no reason except survival. we maybe the only species who does it for progress. This is not the rule of the jungle, its rules are fair and we don't play fair.
Every time we have been set lose we have created nothing but destruction painful upheaval one cat has tried to destroy the whole herd. We are worst than animals they believe in survival, we don't believe in any such thing, because our I is insane.
Maybe that is the fact we are a faulty product, god went wrong and is now stuck keeping an eye on this creation which comes back to life like cockroaches every time he tries to make it extinct.
Our religion is again our ultimate ego, us telling ourselves that god made us in his image and we are born to rule.

Aj

I dont know what to write today, there is so much I want to say and share but somehow its just a jumble.

for today these few words are all I have. Hope words find me soon.

http://www.qpeka.com/poem/52f9f4660cf2c77901b4da52#

POEM CODE

This poem is a lyrical bend to my thoughts on our existence as a predicted species which I voiced in CODE

http://www.qpeka.com/library/poem/52f4ce670cf2f0414f206146

Me a writer ?

These past three years have made me question my very existence, which is as any other person defined by the profession one belongs to. I have searched and searched and somehow the answer has evaded me, there seems to be no need for what I bring to a professional table. I have done then what I know best write. With this poem I hope to begin a journey. Do not know whether it has a destination.
But it would mean a lot if you could share this journey with me as you have till now. Do read what I have to share with you.

http://qpeka.com/library/poem/52ef78f20cf2f0414f206033

We are code

I like the unpredictability of life. You expect some great miracle but then you settle for the puzzle being solved in the end. Your whole life seems to get over in this waiting and finding. I refuse to just wait. Every moment is living for me, there is this inane satisfaction also in doing nothing.
then comes the fear whether this is self destructing. You are not made to do nothing, it leads to decay. Am I doing enough, who defines that for me. Will I do anything again for any one again. There  ! and I thought that I am supposed to celebrate nothingness. Well I surely can try. Resigning myself to hundred questions has not got me any where have tried that, everybody does. Being a good human being is a tough job. The question is are you one in the first place and who defines that for you.
I hate definitions of  any kind, they are too constrictive. I like my freedom, often wonder are we free in the first place there are six personality types in the world we are made in repetition, I cant break the code. I have to follow it, what i feel and what I do is pre determined by that code. Am sure he finds our struggle pretty amusing. 

Are you happy

I have to check myself every time I begin writing on a blank page. It always begins with " Its amazing ". That is what life means to me. In a world that increasingly becomes insecure with every growing want, my world still revolves around the pani puri at the corner of the street. Isnt life that simple. Apparently its not, its very complex, this I dont understand I have tried to, life gets better with money thats what I have been  told with every medium out there that can communicate to you.  

Happiness, I was happy before and I did not have money, I had people. The book says that every era goes through a life cycle of birth, growth and death. We are in the era where this world is dying the kalyug. 

Why are we like this, why is there so much selfishness, why cant we see anything beyond what we want what we need what we have and what we have not.

We dont need love anymore, we need that expensive car, we need to be sexually satisfied, we need

power over another we need those expensive clothes, we need that vacation in Ireland. I dont understand this it is complex for me. I don't see you happy. You need all this to be happy right. What are you ? 

why r you a rapist, why are you a swindler, why are you a abuser ? why are you a selfish human being.

 Are you happy ?

This Christmas.........

Its white its red and its Green ! Its that time of the year when happiness decides to be toll free. Its amazing how a carol here, a decoration there and my heart begins to glow. Even in the darkest hour he is there. Christmas is not about celebrating his birth but remembering that he is the silver lining to our dark cloud. No matter how bad or how terrible life may seem this time of the year life just becomes more beautiful every person gives a moment to goodness to share smiles.Its not about the presents or sweets or the parties which people throw it is the  sweetness the joy and the cheer that decorates another heart !
This Christmas spend, buy, decorate eat, drink make merry but also try and remember to try and reflect the philosophy of the trinity , give today .. A smile, A look, A chance, A forgiveness,  A time, A care, A hand, This Christmas spend few moments living a life for a father and make him proud.

Signs

I believe in signs,
the way to a place,
the arrow to road,
the smile that welcomes.
the frown that doesn't,
a hand that stops,
a finger that nods,
I believe in signs,
nothing points to nothing
I believe in signs

Hey guys :)

Oh and by the way if you do read post a note :) I write because I love to but it will be nice to know that there are people out here who make it worth my while :)

Right now

I dont know what makes us humans so thankless , that is the reason why we are so miserable half the time also maybe it is this very nature that makes us better than who we are. Its really blessed to be blessed when you experience the divine as a part of your life. Everything works out in the end and that strength is enough to get you through any storm. Yet as I wonder what tomorrow will bring, the happy life I have now filled with love , laughter and smiles seems to paint a very bleak picture....Is this not enough. Three years is a long time to believe that there is something out there for you when it comes to you. When work was always a means to and end ,a family to care for when it does not seem to exist now why is there a void. I so want to be happy with what I have and yet there is that stinging emptiness. I want to be satisfied with what I have yet I am not.
This is scary why would I want to be this person.
I have questioned the divine and I have hated myself for that too, when people are dying of hunger I am cribbing about me disappearing, inst that selfish why am I like this, have you made me like that. wonder how the god men feel, how do they attain nothingness.
What if I am plain lazy, maybe that is a possibility but when all your life is about co incidences and circumstances which have been made for you rather than you making them and all your efforts towards dragging your life in the direction you want have gone nowhere. There is that dump in ur heart of knowing that its predecided and somewhere you hate him for that too.
Its like the lover who brings light in your life but you hate him for making you so dependent on him for your happiness.
 Your life behaves like the stubborn bull who wont budge then what do you do. Sit there and wait for it to change its mind ? for something you don't understand to speak to it and make it move its ass. Somebody would think this is escapist thinking but then when u have spend quite some time time sweating trying to move its rump. You would just not care a fuck what the passerby thinks.

Abhi

Aj agar main chahu toh kal ko pehchan lu,
har hone wali ahat ka pata jaan lu,
chaourahe par khadi hoon main jahan door tak aadmi nahin,
ek khamoshi hai aur koi awaz nahin,
is waqt main jhunjhulahat hai zaroor,
hoke bhi nahin hone ka dard hai hazoor,
lekin aj main  mahshroof hoon,
is jagah pyaar ki chaav hai nayi,
kal ki talash main aj yeh kyoon chodu,
kal toh ayega kaha jayega,pyaar aya hai toh koi jadu se yeh waqt kam nahin

Peekaboo

The stars have written a road for me,
A valley of maybe's wait for me,
The dream is lived in surreal reality,
A moment here a wasted eternity,
Today brings a hope for tomorrow,
magic cocooned in absurd huamity,
A window into a hole of certainity,
A gasp of slipping sand and nothing more for me,
Then again who is to know whether tommorrow could bring something new,
or just wrap the old in a new cloak,
And play hide and seek with you.

Khabon ki kayinath

Dastak du  toh sahi, toh koi darwaza khule,
Khabon ke pankh ko hawa ki roshani mile,
Andhere ki duhai date hai kyoon,
hum tum,
jab khab ki roshani apni muthi main pakad ke chale,
hazaron khab main agar hai apni kismat main likhe,
har raat ki behram jakkad ko cheer ke jab hai nikle,
phir unmain se koi ek kyoon na janam le,
haqeekat ki godh main kyoon nahi khele,
agar ankhein bandh karke itne rangon se khelte hai hum,
kya ankhein khol kar umain se ek rang ko bhi na ujjala milein,
kitne rangon ko meeta paoge tum,
mere khabon main kayinath ke hai rang cheepe,
aj koi ek ko mitake tu khush ho le

Kuch naya

Agar is lamhe main jiyoon to zindagi mukamal hoh,
Ek dar ki ahat main jeene ki chuski le loon,
kal ke toote peeghalte makbaron pe aj ki neev rakhoon,
ek lambi si saas loon,
aur us saas main kal ki ahat bharoon,
Main asha  rakhoon, phir us asha ko aj ke seema par rakh kar landh doon,
phir koi nayi aas par dil lagayoon,
phir ek naye din main grah pravesh karu,
har kal ek nayi grihasti shuru karu,
ek naye chand ka deedar karu,
ej naya vrat rakhu,
har naye suraj ko manayu,
sitaron ki chaav main kal ka intezar karu,
mitake aj kal ek nayi kahani  ke liye jagah banayun,
zindagi ke pyale ko dar aur khushi ke makhmal main mehfoos rakhne ki koshish karu.

Baarish ki dastak

Dhund ki dhundlahat main dhoondhte hai hum ahat,
kisi apne ke aas paas hone ki chahat,
barish ke girte padte boonodon ki thartharahat,
apne badan ko choom ke phisal jane ki woh adat,
khushboo ek nayi subah ki lane wali woh andhi,
apne sath le ati hai kisi ki nazar ko dhoondhne ki jhunjhulahat,
darwaze par dastak jab koi deta hai,
sir se paon take jab bheeg ke kapkapata hai,
thake, huye hatoon main garam garam jalebi,
sirf tumhare sath pehli barish baatne ke liye woh safar ki kahani,
hum poochte rehte hai ki pyaar kya hai,
har barish ke mahine main woh pehli dastak uski haazri hai.

kya ?

Aj sone ki chamak main hassi dhundi,
uske peele dano main khushi dhoondi,
Har pal jo khab dekha tha aj pura hai magar,
aj ake khab ke mayane kuch aur ho gaye magar,
har chhez ki keemat hoti hai,
aj jana ki sone ka pinjar ke mayine kya hote hai,
kal mehez mehendi ke abhushanon main jo khushi thi,
sone main taul kar kyoon nahin milti,
dekhna hai ki kya takat hai mujhmain ke har bandhan ko tod kar,
kya udh payungi,
arzoo aj bhi hai lekin,
dar lagta hai ki khaab sach hokar toot jaye toh kya karungi.

Aj hai Najayaz

Aj ne kal ko ek tasver bana diya hai,
har dard har khab ko usmain usko cheeepa diya hai,
aj us dard ko phir se thoda ji loon,
phir aj ke liye dua na mangu, shukriya ada karu,
aj hath dua main nahin uth rahe hai,
aj wapis dard hai,
aj kal se khoobsurat hai phir bhi kyoon chubh raha hai,
yeh bechaini haram ki aulad hai, jayaz hai phir bhi najayaz

Hoh ?

tum agar padh rahe ho,
salon ka safar aj kuch lafz main padh rahe ho,
aj un salon ka wasta,
aj tum utha lo woh kuch lafz,
aur tham lo mera hath,
aj gum ho rahi hoon khudh ke gali se,
shayadh aj kabhi na lagne wala tumhara sath chahiye,
shayadh aj bhi tum apne kadham peeche kheech loge,
apne aap se kuch pal ja jhooth bol loge,
kal ka sach aj main ghum ho jayega,
phir main tumhara pyaar kho doongi,jo kuch pal the,
lekin aj jo nahin hai, aur shayd kal main bhi ghum tha,

kabhi yaad ajati hai woh chamakte huye kuch bati,
woh halka sa ek gana aur tumhara us gane ka aks meri nazar main dhoondne ka andaz,
phir jab raten akeli ho jati hai,
tab main dhoondtu hoon usi gaane main,
kuch pal ga sahara,
woh ek pal ki muskan,
woh kuch kal ka asra,
phir ruk jati hoon,
kal ki muskanon main aj ki tanhai bhualana shayad itna asan hota,
toh phir shahayad koi asoon nhain bahata,
ek play ki jisam ki garmahat ke liye na khareedta,
na pyar ka naam deke janam bhar ka sath saude main khareedta

Aj

shayad aj shuru se shuru kare,
na khud ko na hi zamane ko moka de,
aj khud se sach kahe,
jhoot ka sahara na le na kisi ko de,
phir shayad kal naya ho,
sirf shayad main na rahe,
haqqekat main tabdeel ho,
lekin shurwat toh aj karni padegi,
kadam toh aj uthana padega,
rasta shayad hai, lekin mukam tay hai,
deri hai phir bhi, hosla nahin hai ya phir asha nahin,
aj phir se shayad khud ko behla diya,
sach ko jhoot ke daman main cheepa diya.