The Rose

The moment you see a rose you feel the blush of innocence rise to your cheeks.
It could be dark red or a light shade of pink.
A rose is the perfect symbol of love in its various shades.
For me a rose can transform me to a land of beauty in a matter of seconds.
The perfectly sculpted petals and their smooth out turn, the carefully filled colour in gods perfect design.A dark red can talk to you of passion that crosses every line of caution.A pink beseeches you to handle the passion with care.A red that's watered down with dollops of white the symbol of the pure and serene.
Its difficult to describe what is perfect,You are always at a loss of words.
I guess that's whats happening to me right now.They lie against my white wall breathing life into my life with their gentle breath.With each whiff of air they bring to be a dash of their colour and I try to fill myself with their gentle fragrance.
Together in a heap they lie patiently living each moment to bring a smile on my lips.I see them surviving each moment and dieing the next.I look at them trying my best to capture them forever.don't go I say,You are why my life is beautiful,why I get up each morning and smile,live a little more for me I cajole them so that I can feel your smoothness in my harsh life.You make this barren land look like paradise every time i lose myself into the oasis of your colour.
I close my eyes and I can see them dancing under my eyelids. I Close my eyes and I can feel the softness on my skin,I close my eyes and I feel their fragrance playing with my senses,I close my eyes and I can feel love enchanting me with its warmth.

With each rose that you give me,
I see the love that you want to share,
the yesterday that you want to wipe away and the today that says you care,
A hundred hopes one rose harbours a thousand dreams to fulfill,
but that's what a rose is living for to help you built when nothing exists,
A lesson of sacrifice it gives you as its journey comes to a end,
when every drop of beauty is bled to a descend,
but at last as it heaves and lays to rest,
there are no regrets in its petals,there is no regret in its stem,
A life it has lived for others,selfless and pure without any condescend,
even as it lays crumpled,its as beautiful as the heaven above,
For the rose is not beautiful because of its colour or because of its
delicate bow,
Its beautiful because within,
It has a heart of gold,
the strength to give you a smile for a moment
and sacrifice its life on the alter of love.

Float

I don't know what to expect from life,I guess the best thing to do is not expect
anything.
I don't know why things don't work out the way they should.
Maybe they are not supposed to the reason is like a oyster in the deep dark ocean.To reach it would be diving deep into the recesses of the cosmos.
That's what life is a huge ball of energy good and bad. The various shades of black and white flow in and out according to the this tide of energy and all you can do is float.

Bringing to Life

Happiness needs to be brought to life,
when its asleep at your hearts side,
A corner it finds for itself,
Tugs away with a blanket for a shell,
Wake it with loving grace,
pull aside the strands of stray decay,
Looking at yourself with a glass anew,
try and see the corner that you never knew,
cajole it to smile at you,
slowly awake it with a little bit of dew,
drop a drop on its eyelids and see,
how it slowly opens its petal lids,
hazily it will look at you,
as it awakes from its slumber,
its gaze on you shall become stronger,
A little patience a little strength
the rise of happiness shall be a steady ascend,
the day has come to noon and you will see,
the sun is high up in the sky and the night is no where to be seen

This one is for you richa :)

Memories

Sometimes I wish you held my hand when you should have,
Sometimes I wish you would have turned back and looked at me one more time,
Soemtimes I wish you smothered me in your arms and said that life stops here,
Life is walking again and I am walking with life towards a destination I dont know,
Every step I take I realise that you are not going to be there with my next,
Dreams and ambitions are somewhere in bits in the air,
So tired was life with me trying that it left me with nothing but memories,
Of those few moments when I thought my tommorrow will have you in it as my today,
Then i realised that if I was your world I would have been in it today,
There is a price for everything and I was not worth the price of your affection,
Sometimes this truth is difficult to accept,
then there is the realisation that you are not here with me,
The moments of betrayal,
when I was standing by your side yet was invisible to you,
when i tried to hold your hand and you shrugged it away,
when I wanted to cry on your shoulder and you made my tears guilty of that need,
when I wanted nothing but the warmth of your arms to melt my pain nd my suffering,
but then I was expecting too much of your time and understanding,
life was always difficult for you most of the time because of me,
You will always be a part of my heart somewhere tucked away with memories of those cold nights when i was next to you wrapped in your arms,
A smile on my face and the feeling that you will be by my side always,
As I walk on a path which takes me to a place which I have not seen or know,
I take with me what made me smile leaving that made me cry way behind.

Moments of Time

Sometimes life takes you by total surprise and You dont know what to do with it.It teaches you that life is never perfect that there will always be a spot left in the duri which needs to be rewoven or patched. I guess thats what makes life beautiful.The fact that it is not perfect,the various patches of colour that you sew on to the fabric makes it alive makes ,it unique makes it your life.Today I wonder whether I am keen to have in my life the same element I couldnt see my life without. There are answers to questions that never existed,there is a way where no one ever thought for treading.I ahve learned the art of living for a day in a moment. Thinking about life beyond that is a mistake. It leaves with you the feeling of sand slipping from your fingers. When you have no choice but to sit and feel the desperation of not knowing what to do with something you have no control on. I had no idea what it is to let go.Of letting go of control and going with the flow.But today I think it snot that bad a idea.Ultimately most of your life changing incidences happen because they are pre planned they are destiny.Life is a about living the moment the pain.the hate.the love and the rememberance.But everything should be for those few passing moments of time.

Anjam

Hum bhool gaye the ki pyar kya hota hai,
Thehri huyi daldal mein kamal khilna kya hota hai,
Dil dhadakta hai jab koi hath tham leta hai,
nazron se koi pegam bayan karta hai,
taron mein hum apni akhon ki chamak dhunte hai,
andheron mein bhi koi phasana pate hain,
suraj dhalta hai phir se jeene ke liye,
pyar mar ke bhi phirr se janam le hi leta hai,
waqt tham ke bhi chalta hai,
Tum kho kar bhi mil jate ho aksar,
kisi khoi hue gumnam raston mein,
farak sirf ye hi hai ke humsafar koi aur hi chal raha hai,
ehsas sirf ek ehsas hota hai yeh jan gaye hain hum,
insan sirf ek zarya hota hai,
pyar toh khudayi hoti hai
sirf khuda hi usko anjam de sakta hai.

faith

Faith is something that is kept alive in your heart by gods grace. From thinking that he has abandoned me to having him hold my hand again is like going from drowning to knowing what it is to walk on dry land.

Escapism

For somebody who has always prided herself for facing and living in reality.I was in
for a rude shock today.I realsied that I am a escapist.

God is selfish

God is selfish,I guess after writing this I am not going to be his favourite,I guess.
Have not been for sometime.He has been nice to me at one point of my life and I have been extremely grateful to him for that.Then there was a time when I thought that
believing in god just because he does a lot of favours for you and makes your life
easy is not fair. Then there was a long wait for life to bring with it some ray of happiness,there was a fight with hoplessnes and I won.today I have lost the game.I smiled when I cried I believed when My heart was torn to pieces a milion times,There was always a tiny voice that said better will come.That bad happens for good. Today I stand at a point from where I can see miles and miles of burning sand
and there is no mirage.
My faith died today,the one thing that kept me going through disappointments from man and from life.I want to believe that I am wrong but today this blamegame does not work. I have lost a game that I tried hard to play.I am wrong I know,there are people whose life is nightmare that I cannot even comprehend. But I cannot forget my tears in the thought of theirs. They say a believers heart when closes opens up to demons that are seven times more powerful. I dont know if I have the strength to fight them,I dont know If I will survive. I just know that today I am standing all alone on shores that are unknown to me.Totally alone without my strength my hope my faith.I have never hated anybody.no matter the pain inflicted. Today I want them to answer. I wnat them to answer me for their digression. for my pain, for my love and for their betrayal,they will have to answer today for my tears and for my blood. The mass that my heart has been turned into, it has lost the power to beat. It lies limp without any kind of feeling and warmth. Its dieing a sorry death. I guess it desrerves it. in this world of selfishness there is no place for a heart that beats with love for love.

Faith

winning with life has been a dream that has always been achievable.The biggest
mistake I make is experiencing any dimension of happiness. Its not allowed in my life
and despite knowing this I cross the line.Well disappointments are a part of life.
somebody has said that I expect too much out of life and people. Is it wrong to
expect? perhaps it is.I often wonder IF i expect too much or in this world of living life as a island any amount or kind of expectation is wrong.There is a small doubt
thats growing in my head and I am very scared to acknowledge it.Sometimes you dont
want to come to face your own realisations. Its very difficult to let go of your
deepest beliefs.Keeping the truth alive they say is not difficult. It has a life of its own. Lies needs to be fed otherwise it dies a sudden death. When truth needs to
be fed with self assurance. One fine day you stop and question. Is this necessary ?
the truth that was your hope has suddenly dwindled into nothingness and what is left with you is nothing but thing air that which is invisible yet you believe in that
which keeps u alive.Your life is a witness to that truth.
My faith has seen me through a lot of storms.There was a reason to believe and I did.
Its been a very longtime since I ahve found peace.Is it a price I am paying because my faith is not as strong as it is supposed to be ? Are all answers supposed to come from me not from my faith. Today faith stands alone.

Thought !

when life takes away from you answers,
you have to go hunting for them in your heart,
when your heart refuses to divulge information,
the best person to ask is your mind,
when your mind takes a stand that leaves you in a lurge ask your will,
thats the only place where u will find your answers,
tucked away in a matrix of whys and no's.

DUA

words where would flow effortlessly, today take a huge effort to express themselves. Its not for the first time that I am at a crossroad where breathing also hurts.Numbed beyond any kind of justifictaion heart has just stopped to beat. Its very very dark and the night is getting more lonely. The sky is inky blue with not a single drop of a star giving comapny to the lonely space
above us. Blackness has a way of suffocating you, ebbing out your sanity and preservance. I hate the dark anything black brings the omnipresent onto a higher ground.
Its been a long long wait perhpas the longest of my life. It still continues snaking across my existant quitely hissing venom into my perfectly fine life. I guess there has to be a pastence used there. Life was fine today its not. Its a mess, and I have no idea where to start from. I guess some messes have to clear themselves. That sounds impractical but life can be more weirder than fiction. My life cannot claim for itself anything as tall as that. Its as common as you get. The heartaches the
disappointments the hope that one fine day there will be a fairygod mother who will change my whole life into a fairytale with one touch of her wand. Transformation will take place in every nook and corner. In my heart and in my mind, In my house and at my work In the heart of those whom I love and Those I hate.

Aj phir se kahin se dard jhak raha hai,
khamoshi se apni dua mang raha hai,
Ke shayad use is zindagi se udjane ka bahana mil jaye,
ek pal mein is kaidh se koi taras kha kar lene dawaze par dastak dene
ajaye,
hath uthe hai asman ke tarf,
jisme kahin khudai samai hai,
tumhe dekh nahin pate hum lekin mehsoos toh zaroor kar sakte hain,
kabool ho dua ye farmaish hai,
jeene ke liye thodi si zindagi dan mein
mangi hai.

The Race is On

A thought of yesterday was respresented in a cartoon of today. 4 lines for a woman raped and murdered in a slum and half a page for a upper class college kid murdered. Jessica finally got
justice it was victory of truth, but as the news room errupted in a frenzy of breaking news I calmly looked at her sister poping the champagne bottle nad wondered if a poor lady in tattered
clothes would have been given that much of screen time.
The crusade of the media finally concluded today as life term was sentenced.
Candle light vigils, protests by enthusiastic kids and hypervenatlating journalists.Hours of reel time are dedicated to talk shows discussing the injustice done by power weilding politicians and corrupt policemen,few seconds of which could have been spared for those hundreds of abductions and rapes that happen in villages and in the underbelly of thriving cities. But then visually it will not be appealing and thus not good television.
Twelve women were sentenced to life because they lynched a serial rapist. The fact that the law
could not save those hundreds of women who lost the will to live because of this man is not important enough.These women payed the price for justice. This is not a story important enough to find space in a news channel.A crusade not intresting enough to be taken up.
The pen is mightier than the sword they say. But today the pen is nothing but a tool for entertainment a element that is reduced to a game of X AND 0 the race is for increased frequency and TAM ratings. Justice and the truth have been left far behind . Manipulated and covered with a pancake meant just for attraction.
Journalism id dead what survives is infotainment.

Mind In Flight

MIND IN FLIGHT
by William B. "Willie Woo" Worcester

CLOUDS OF DOOM AND DARK OF NIGHT,
FRIGHTENED MIND IN HOPELESS FLIGHT;
A LOVELESS KISS A LIE SO FAIR,
AND FRANTIC WINGS STILL BEAT THE AIR.
A TWISTING WIND,
A STORM THAT BLINDS,
THE LIGHTENING FLASH WITH SHARPENING TINES.
A DYING WORD, A SOUNDLESS CRY, D
OES SOMEONE KNOW WHY DREAMS MUST DIE?
ONE WOMAN KNOWS WHY MINDS ARE BLACK
I CRIED FOR LOVE,
SHE TURNED HER BACK.

chalte chalte

aj humne saas li,
aj humne zindagi ko wapis khush hone ki wajah di,
Ladhte ladhte itne kho gaye hum ki jeene ki chahat hi kahin jhoot gayi,
Shayad ane wala kal beete hue kal se batar ho,
shayad gham ke andhere aur bhi bhayanak ho,
lekin us andhere mein shayad ki ek kiran hogi,
apne ap ko dhoonte hue jeet hi jayegi,
kal ki har yaad hum seemat ke rakh de rahe hai,
Sirf woh jo muskurahat mein tabdeel hote hain,
Ek khamoshi hain zehen mein,
Ek aram hai akhon mein,
na gham ke saye hai,
na khushi ke asoon,
reh gyai hai sachai ki jhalak,
aj abhi ki haqeekat,
Na kal ki chinta,
Na aj par narazgi,
Chalte chalte apne ap se thodi si khushi batne ki chahat.

The New year

The new year is coming close and I hope that my effort to bring my life in some kind of
alignment works. Its been a terrible year for me, in one word if I can describe it is pain. Every hope has been shattered and faith has been drowned in the ocean of disappointment. Every
individual I have believed in has taken a 360 degress turn around and left without a trace of
regret or shame. I have seen my dreams being salmmed across the wall of time. I have smiled
as every belief has proved itself to be shallow as the dieing stream. I have refused to compromise, I have refused to let life snatch away my right to dream. A new year , A new chance to bring together a shattered life a broken heart and a sagging strength. Everything has
a reason.
My journey through medical upheavels and heartaches has but taught me one thing that you are master of your destiny. Atleast a part of it. I for once believe in myself. I for once
believe that I am capable of living through a lot and yet have my head on my shoulders. For the
first time in 25 years of my life I am talking about myself . I guess thats proof enough.
Hope should be invested in yourself and but yourself. A humanbeing is too frail a individual to be fight for another person, to inconvenience himself for another or to compromise his ideals for another. The most strongest man fails and at that point of time its you who stands up to the occasion, its you who are your strongest support,its you who inspires you to carry the cross and yet continue living.
Its another year to my life and as I climb this mountain there have been people who came and walked with me and walked way,there have been dreams that have come true and some have faded away but I am still walking on a path etched by god and paved by him
Picture Courtesy : Danr Co http://www.flickr.com/photos/danrco/241183250/

A Song Of Love

When you love someone - youll do anything
Youll do all the crazy things that you cant explain
Youll shoot the moon - put out the sun
When you love someoneYoull deny the truth - believe a lie
Therell be times that youll believe you can really fly
But your lonely nights - have just begunWhen you love someone
When you love someone -
youll feel it deep inside
And nothin else can ever change your mind
When you want someone - when you need someoneWhen you love someone...
When you love someone - youll sacrifice
Youd give it everything you got and you wont think twice
Youd risk it all - no matter what may come
When you love someone
Youll shoot the moon - put out the sun
When you love someone-
Bryan Adams

Love is all this and more, for somebody who lives life without a risk assessment love exists in
every moment of life . In the breeze that caresses you in the early evening , When the sun sets
just for you painting you with its numerous shades of red, love lives in the waves that touch your
feet lovingly playing with your toes with a subtlity of a child.love lives in those consonants that make your name, the sound that lingers in the air echoing through lifetimes.
I had forgotten what love was I had forgotten what life was with love. Love is not dependent on a humanbeing love is a entity itself. In this world of compromise I left it to die in a secluded
corner punishing it for breathing in my life. But then how can I live when I have strangulated breath itself. It has to live.It has thrive, It has to dance it has to smile. Love exists in my life in my dreams, in my faith in my hope.
May be there is no space for red roses in my life but there is space for pink, there may not be a hand to pick me up from the cold sand bank but there is a vision,there may not be the wait for a voice to echo through the cellphone but there is the thought, Nobody is waiting back home to pick me up in his arms but there is a home, There may not be anybody to hold my hand walk on the dark sea but there are the images. For a dreamer the dream is what makes his life worth living.
For a woman who has been in love its not the man that counts its the emotion and the realiztaion that love does not happen once in your life it lives with you for ever waiting for the right mould and the right expression a dream that gets realized into reality by the mighty hand of god. In this circle of life we need to wait for that magic when the whole universe conspires for this perfection.

Cold

Cold gripping you, entering your every bone and muscle,
you cant do anything much but to surrender yourself to its rising wave,
I dont have the strength to fight it, I dont have the energy to question its advance,
Its once agian that I live alone in a room full of people,
once again I seem to have fallen short of everybody's expectations,
The effort is never a part of the trial,
The fire is not warm enough to envelope the cold,
Dragging myself through every responsibility living for a dream that belongs to
somebody else,
I have reached my breaking point.Slowly I disintegrate as the cold breaks every bone in
my body,
slowly I tell life that I have let it down,
I face life as it is a coarse reality,
Its painful but its truth in the truest form,
There was and there will be no true love,
The fact is enough to kill every desire to live , every desire to begin a new day.
The night of yesterday has passed,
I was alone,
The cold refused to go away,
Once again life decided to mock at me,
laugh at my existance,
The loneliness and the hoplesness of my life,
For a few moments images flashed across of a situation a little different a little warmth
of concern,
Then life is not about dreams its about reality.
The sooner I realise the better.

Photo Courtesy : Johny Day
http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnydaystudio/322365456/

Ray Of Hope

The desire to achieve exists in each and every living soul. The goal could vary across classes and genre.From poor to the rich, from the intelligent to the challenged,from a mother to a newly wed. Dreams are different but the passion of desire is the same. It is this driving force that makes us human a soft target to sin. Want is a need that makes life a struggle. It pushes man
to swing between the right and wrong. I have realised that this is the only existing thread through which life is weaved. Everytime I pick up the pen words seem to state this very fact.
Sometimes life starves you of the very thing that you think is the most basic.At that point of life
what do you do.Most of the time you disintegrate.The rock near the sea slowly breaks away beaten consistently by the gushing waves. Then we are fragile humanbeings made from soil and gifted the breath of life. Yet somewhere there is the desire to fight, there is hope that tommorrow will bring with it a new beginning a new sunrise. As paul Coelho aptly coins the term
warriors of light. Infact I will say we are warriors for that light. Our life is a ongoing struggle to walk towards it fighting aagainst the darkness that constantly tries to edge its way into our existance. But then comes a time when there is no energy left in you when hope itself deserts you and you are left with no option but to accept your fate.
They say that its a matter of those few seconds between winning and losing. I hate losing and life
has been a fight to win. But through every second of that struggle god has stood by me today he seems to have deserted me , I am sure that this is a lie that I am telling myself . He is there with you when you are the weakest he is your strength. Today when again I stand at the brink of disaster and no longer believe in myself I hope that he is satnding by me holding my ahnd and not letting me fall. Because this time I dont know if I will be able to get up once I fall. Life has taken away a lot from me and everytime I have been thankful for what I have. Its cloudy again and storm is brewing and my legs are very weak. I stand alone waiting to live the storm. Tommorrow is uncertain, today a lonely disaster. They say that when it gets very dark morning is just around the corner. This night refuses to passaway and with the prolonged darkness my ray of hope has jsut died a rather lonely death.
Photo Courtesy : Pandiyan http://www.flickr.com/photos/pandiyan/42012853/

Words

This is From Ghassan a darling friend.

something for you:

“Words, they can lift you up or pull you down...
They can make you smile or make you frown...
Words can give us hope or take it away...
They can change from day to day...
Words can be true or not at all...
They can help us grow or make us fall...
Words can take a heart or rip it apart...
They are so powerful right from the start...
Words can help us understand...
They also can be used to demand...
Words can be gentle, loving and sweet...
They can make us feel we cannot be beat...
Words can burn deep into a soul...
They can also take their toll...
Words should be thought about before they are said...
They can be hurtful when misread...
Words should always mean what they say...
They should make our pain go away...
Words are precious and cherished by few...
They should be chosen wisely by me and you.”